Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Glass is Half Full?

Generalized Anxiety Disorder, GAD, is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it.  People with generalized anxiety disorder can't seem to shake their concerns. Their worries are accompanied by physical symptoms, especially fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, and hot flashes. More about GAD>>*

And so begins my plight to replace everything that I had stolen from me when my purse was taken.  I was able to close my checking account and open up a new one, get a new debit card, change my account information with my health insurance company, and order new checks.  So far the cost is around $25.  I still need a new purse and wallet, plus new copies of all my membership cards, plus all my EMT cert cards.  I went to the DMV in Boulder today, and sat for an hour and a half to get my new license, only to find out that my license was canceled in June after I paid a speeding ticket too late.  I had $60 in cash with me, no checkbook and no cards, and the cost of reinstating my license is $95 on top of the $21.50 it costs to replace the stolen copy.  I do not have an extra $95 lying around, at least not this week (I don't have it to spare at all, but I have no choice), so I'll just have to drive around with no driver's license until next Thursday when I'll have to wait another hour and a half of my life to pay the state of Colorado for something I had removed from me without my consent.  Shouldn't they, like, the waived fee if it's been stolen?  I mean, I should be able to provide my police report number as proof that it wasn't just misplaced or lost.

I'm finding "Dane's" reaction slightly comical.  Of course this happened at his house, so it's okay for him to be paranoid.  I spoke with him when I got home and he was sitting outside in his truck in the dark just watching for shady characters.  He wants to speak to his HOA and have neighborhood watch signs posted in his neighborhood AND he wants to install a camera on his roof that looks out on that parking lot and he said he'd pay out of pocket for it. What a cutie.

Anyway, after the DMV, my mood was considerably different, as I'd expect anyone else in my situation's mood would be.  I drove back home, the afternoon gone, and decided that I am over this week.  It's been far too stressful and I don't want to deal with it anymore.  

I have to give myself a big pat on the back, though, for not completely losing it last night, or again today.  I am truly able to believe that this sucks major watermelons, but it happens to people all the time, not just me.  It's a conscious choice that I'm making not to get too upset about it.  I could sit back and say, "God, why does this stuff only ever happen to me?" or "Of course this happened, it's me."  But I'm not thinking those things.  When I got home from the DMV and told my mom about the extra fee to reinstate my license, she said, "It's just pouring, isn't it?"  And while all these shitty things seem to be happening all at once, maybe that just means I'm getting it all out of the way and I'm clear for the rest of 2010.  The timing is inconvenient, yes, but is there ever a convenient time to have your purse stolen out of your vehicle?

I'm trying to look at the big picture.  I'm relatively healthy, my family members are all relatively healthy (older sister notwithstanding), I have a roof over my head and food to eat, and even a little money to spend to replace everything.  All I can do is look ahead to tomorrow and hope for the best.  I'm trying very hard to just take each day as it comes and not look any further into the future, because that just adds to my stress - the feeling that I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life - and I don't need that.

So I will be consuming a couple of alcoholic beverages tonight and attempting to go to bed with a clear head and just push myself to keep on going tomorrow.  All I can do is my best, right?

*"NIMH · Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)." NIMH · Home. Web. 21 Oct. 2010. <>.

No comments:

Post a Comment