Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Discourse of Reality

Welp, no big complaints today.  I find that I'm not having as much trouble waking up early as I thought I would.  I think it helps that I mentally prepared myself beforehand, and also that I only have to do it three days a week, two of those days in a row.  That's not too bad.  I get to sleep in the rest of the days and that helps, too.

This cold or whatever it is sure is taking it's time.  Or else my body is doing a really good job fighting it.  It's a bit worse than yesterday but still not taking over full force.  

I'm getting into the groove of my new job and making myself more comfortable.  I'm finding things to do, things to read, and today I started getting some in-depth knowledge on human skeletal anatomy.  I really wish I were in school, but just because I'm not doesn't mean I can't still learn about things that interest me.  It would be really cool if I could go back to CU to retake my Anatomy lab and ace the shit out of it.  From what I remember it was my absence from a test on bones that compromised my grade in the first place.  Once I get bones down, I'm going to move onto musculature along with origin and insertion points.  I think that will help me a lot when I get back to school.

I received a lovely compliment today from one of our tenants.  She said that she really appreciated my positive attitude, and that with it I've changed the entire atmosphere of the building.  That was really something I needed to hear.  I make it a point to greet everyone that walks in here with a smile, to be as polite as possible, and to be as professional as possible.  I think it is paying off.  Before I became employed at this building, I had several occasions to come in, plus the two occasions I was here for my interviews, and I never felt comfortable here.  I always felt like I was being watched or like I wasn't in a welcoming place or something of that nature.  So I can understand and I quite enjoy the possibility that I've been able to make a difference here, however minute.  I like to be friendly with all the tenants that come and go, make eye contact and say hello and goodbye.  I've even started to break through to some of the engineers and software developers that work in the social media office!

As I am sitting at my desk towards the end of the day, and the time is slowly ticking by, I'm getting caught up on episodes of Bones that I've not been able to watch in their entirety due to the concurrent time frame during which 30 Rock also airs on Thursday evenings.  Bones, while well done, is hardly believable scientifically, but the interpersonal relationships of the characters are very well written and I find it funny and alluring.  On top of that, it is a show about forensic anthropology which is by far my second choice for dream-job - a close second to being a movie star.  I love all things CSI except for the actual CSI show.  The acting is so atrocious and the science so unbelievable that I can't even stand to watch it.  Anyway, as I'm watching Bones, I find myself feeling an affinity towards the nerdier characters.  I myself am a huge nerd, although without as much social awkwardness.  The characters seem to have a lot of confidence despite their status as social outcasts outside the Jeffersonian atmosphere.  I find myself envious of their confidence and the ease with which they create interpersonal relationships.  I also know that they are just television characters, and I have been told by both Brian and Aaron that sometimes I don't process reality the same way as most people - and that I live my life as though it were a movie.

What an interesting observation!  Considering my passion for the television and movie industry, I suppose that impression is spot on, however I'm not sure I agree with my apparent unrealistic viewpoint.  I live my life with every sensitivity that I'd like to be able to present in a character if I were acting.  I may expect the people in my life to live with the ability to present the same sensitivities so I think I am often surprised when they don't.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I'd really like to be able to accept myself exactly as I am the way the characters in TV shows and movies do.  Ironically, not the way my friends and family and other real people do.  I know that I'm much more capable of imitating characteristics of my favorite characters than I am of people I know.  That's really weird.  However, if I need to do whatever it takes to be satisfied with myself just as I am, then that is what I have to do.  It's what I've been doing for most of my life anyway, and mostly it works - emulating characters seems useful when attempting to shape myself.

I found this on MSNBC, it's an article about how we've become a Nation of Whiners.  I thought it was kind of pertinent to this blog.  I don't necessarily agree with everything that it says, but it's interesting nonetheless.

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