Thank the Universe that it is Friday. Part of me feels like this week flew by, the other part feels like it really dragged.
Like I mentioned yesterday, some of my functioning is starting to return. This morning, when I got up, I actually took a shower and blow-dried my hair! I feel like I haven't done that for weeks.
I think what helped my mood tremendously is that I stepped on the scale this morning and I have now lost roughly 16lbs in about a month! That's enough to make anyone want to get up a do a little dance, I think. I'm not doing anything special, either. I only eat when I'm hungry, but that's not very often at all, so I have to force myself to eat at least once a day. I assume that is just normal for where I'm at emotionally and that my appetite will come back, but I finally feel like maybe my body is responding normally to the amount of food I'm taking in instead of storing it all for a rainy day or whatever it was doing before.
I'm pretty thrilled not to have anything going on this weekend. I'm really hoping that I will be able to get caught up on laundry and homework, though I think it's going to take some killer motivation to actually get either of those things even started. But I need to try to take some advantage of my free time. My dad has this idea of doing a scary movie night with the kiddos tomorrow night so I think I definitely want to be there for that. I've been thinking of them a lot lately and I miss them.
I've been waking up about 4 hours after I fall asleep every night. I wonder if it will happen again tonight. I usually just pop an Ativan and throw on a movie and try to fall back to sleep.
By the time I actually get around to writing each night, I don't really feel like doing it. I kind of miss the days of sitting at the front desk and just free-flow writing about whatever is in my head - every arbitrary consideration about my future, and analysis of past events with at least some sense of objectivity. I don't do that much when I'm writing at night, right before bed. Maybe I need to start making a habit of sitting down to write earlier in the evenings.
That's all I've got tonight. Let's hope for productivity tomorrow.
Like I mentioned yesterday, some of my functioning is starting to return. This morning, when I got up, I actually took a shower and blow-dried my hair! I feel like I haven't done that for weeks.
I think what helped my mood tremendously is that I stepped on the scale this morning and I have now lost roughly 16lbs in about a month! That's enough to make anyone want to get up a do a little dance, I think. I'm not doing anything special, either. I only eat when I'm hungry, but that's not very often at all, so I have to force myself to eat at least once a day. I assume that is just normal for where I'm at emotionally and that my appetite will come back, but I finally feel like maybe my body is responding normally to the amount of food I'm taking in instead of storing it all for a rainy day or whatever it was doing before.
I'm pretty thrilled not to have anything going on this weekend. I'm really hoping that I will be able to get caught up on laundry and homework, though I think it's going to take some killer motivation to actually get either of those things even started. But I need to try to take some advantage of my free time. My dad has this idea of doing a scary movie night with the kiddos tomorrow night so I think I definitely want to be there for that. I've been thinking of them a lot lately and I miss them.
I've been waking up about 4 hours after I fall asleep every night. I wonder if it will happen again tonight. I usually just pop an Ativan and throw on a movie and try to fall back to sleep.
By the time I actually get around to writing each night, I don't really feel like doing it. I kind of miss the days of sitting at the front desk and just free-flow writing about whatever is in my head - every arbitrary consideration about my future, and analysis of past events with at least some sense of objectivity. I don't do that much when I'm writing at night, right before bed. Maybe I need to start making a habit of sitting down to write earlier in the evenings.
That's all I've got tonight. Let's hope for productivity tomorrow.
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