Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Beginning

I'm feeling pretty great today.  It's as though I'm finally feeling this monstrous weight starting to lift from my shoulders.  I'm scared shitless but it's a good scared.  It's the scared that I need to be feeling at this point in my life.  I'm staring out over this huge precipice that's before me, with all this possibility and opportunity in it, and it's deep and unknown and it's wonderful.

I was late to work today, for the first time.  Apparently the snow yesterday really overwhelmed Colorado's Department of Transportation because not only have I heard stories of it taking people hours to get home from work yesterday when the normal commute is maximum thirty minutes, but it took me an hour and a half to get in to work today.  There was only one accident that I saw although the radio reported two accidents.  For the first hour, I went 10 miles per hour.  Which is about right.  It's like 10 miles from my house to the Boulder area.  Anyway, it was ridiculous.  It makes me wonder if like the DOT wasn't privy to the weather forecasts because it seemed as though the roads were not plowed, graveled or salted.  I'm no expert, but judging from the amounts of snow and ice on every single road, that's what it looked like.  Anyway, I'm beyond thrilled I have my own car back, because that little tank is so great in the snow.  She's no four-wheeler, but she's got my back.  And my butt, my head, and the rest of my vital parts.  I feel so much more comfortable driving that car than my dad's truck.  Sheesh.

So right now, I'm just looking for places to live.  I have a place for the time-being, but I am going to need a permanent situation, and I already have a few prospects.  Unfortunately, I am a comparer.  I compare everything to everything else.  I'll forever compare every experience of living on my own with every previous experience I've had living on my own - with roommates, of course.  I'm not rich.  I can't live by myself yet.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend.  I'm moving the rest of my stuff tomorrow to Tiffany's house, where I will be living for the next few weeks whilst I find more permanent lodgings.  In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the time I get to spend with Tiffany.

I'm definitely worried about Phoenix.  He's a pretty high-strung guy, and if I try to leave him at a new place without sort of practicing with him first, he'll go nuts.  I don't have the money to be fixing windows and fences and other things, so I will have to put in some time with him showing him that it's okay for him to stay somewhere while I'm gone.  The next couple of months will be tumultuous for him, but I'm hoping that it will sort of season him to the act of moving from place to place because that is more than likely what will be happening for us for the next decade or so.  I have no plans on being anything close to sedentary for quite a long time.

Anyway.  It was nice not to feel super stressed out for a change.

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