A good deed to start off the new year - I was designated driver for both my drunk sisters. Pat on the back to me! Especially with my being the family alcoholic. It's been quite awhile since I've even had enough to drink to get tipsy. Before I went to go get them, I took a long, hot bath wherein I watched 30 Rock on my cell phone. I did a deep conditioning hair treatment, watched some of Back to the Future, and fell asleep for awhile. I missed midnight altogether, but I don't care!! It's just a calendar date, it's not the end of anything or beginning of anything, it's purely symbolic.
I'm a little concerned that I haven't heard a word from New Guy since he and Mr. Roomie dropped me off yesterday. The little low self-esteem devil on my shoulder is trying to talk me into thinking it's because he has made a decision about me, which he may have (or perhaps he met and took home a girl at the party he went to last night...oooohhhhh). The high self-esteem angel on my other shoulder is telling me things like, "He partied into the night, he's probably just relaxing and taking it easy today," and "he was calling you sweetie and honey yesterday, he can't possibly have decided he doesn't want to date you anymore," and "what does it matter if he has decided he doesn't want to date you anymore? You've already made up your mind about him." I have pretty much made up my mind about him. I like him, a lot, but he's not right for me and I'm not right for him. He's never owned a TV; I couldn't live without one. He says "I seen" instead of "I saw." He listens to Christian rock by choice and even has many of the songs memorized. Spending 6+ hours together yesterday I think allowed for both of us to see in one another the many things we don't actually have in common. I think he's completely wonderful though. He's very sweet, and he's thoughtful and kind any be the end of the world if I don't. I would, however, love to stay friends with he and Mr. Roomie. They're a lot of fun to hang out with and I really enjoy spending time with them.
I noticed yesterday the closeness that New Guy and Mr. Roomie have. I'm quite envious of it. They seem to know each others thoughts and feelings without having to speak to one another. They have the exact same interests and passions. They're very respectful of one another. They live together and go to church together. I likened them to an all-white version of Turk and JD from Scrubs. It was really interesting to watch them communicate with each other without really having to communicate at all. They crack each other up, they know everything there is to know about each other, and they seem to be completely satisfied with the relationship they have with each other. In terms of just friendship, I crave that closeness and that companionship. It's like they rarely do things without the other person, but when they do, it's totally fine. It's been a long time since I've had that kind of friendship with someone, where it's an equal amount of give-and-take, and there's no jealousy or judgment. I think I might have that with Kara, although it's really hard to nurture a friendship like that because of how far apart we are. I called Kara last night because she was supposed to be in Times Square for New Year's Eve, and found out that her flight had been canceled. So we sat and talked for awhile. Now that I'm working, I can afford to take a trip out to San Diego to visit her, no familial disasters withstanding. I think I shall go out for a week in the next few months. I am even considering moving out there to live with her and her husband for awhile. They have enough room for me in their house, and they already have two dogs so they've got a backyard for Phoenix to run around in. It wouldn't be a permanent move unless I can find a decent job out there that I like, but I think that will be something I can save up for and move out this summer. It would mean my continuing to live in this house until then, but it might be feasible as long as I have opportunities to go out and meet people and socialize, and my sister can get her shit together enough to parent her kids without constantly yelling at them. I like the idea. It induces no stress whatsoever in me to think about, and while it causes me to feel some excitement, it's not the kind of "I have no idea what I'm doing and I might even be making a terrible decision" exciting, but the "It's time for me to be the adult I want to be" exciting. But I won't be making any kind of decisions anytime soon. This is something to think about.
**New Guy called me and we talked for a short while. The conversation felt forced and kind of awkward. I think I'll talk to him about howI feel tomorrow.