Sweet Baby Jesus. Last night was awful. I went home with the expectation that I'd tell my parents that I'd decided not to take any action against my sister, but they were all worked up already by the time I got home because my sister had seen a lawyer yesterday who'd told her he could get her cleared without jail time if she retained him, so she asked them for money.
I, in turn, admonished them for even considering to put any money towards this, which only further enraged them. I can't tell you how many times my dad literally screamed.
After all the hullabaloo, my sister came into my room to talk to me (I'm assuming it was an attempt to sweet-talk me), but it turned into an insult-slinging match to see who could possibly insult the other person more. I'm not sure who won, but I was able to say out loud, to her face, some of the things I've been thinking. Anyway, it ended with me telling her that she has no clue what people think of her because they read my blog (I don't know how many people actually do, or how many care) so they know how she really is. This really upset her. She told my parents that I'd been writing about her "criminal activities" on my blog, and I was near-simultaneously screamed (and I'm not kidding when I say screamed) at by both my parents. My mom said that I needed to get out of the house if I was going to continue to put the details of her private life out on the internet for the world to see. I told her I would not be removing anything I had already written, including this new escapade my sister has pulled, to which she responded that I was not to write about anything that went on in our house. If I wrote about anything that happened in our family, I'd no longer have a place to live.
I took that to mean that my choices are to a.) stop blogging - because I can't use this blog as a therapeutic tool if I can't write about my family dynamics which are a major part of my mental illness as well as my every day interactions with the mentally ill, or 2.) move out. I am choosing to move out. As of this coming Saturday, I will be staying with at a friend's house until I can find a place of my own. I can stay there for about a month, and if I haven't found a place of my own by then, I can move on to another friend's house to stay for a little while. I cannot seem to work up the courage to talk to my boss and ask her what my options might be for living in an apartment that is leased by the company I work for, but perhaps I will do it tomorrow when I am not strapped to the desk.
I'm very disappointed by my parents reactions. Both to the steps my sister will be taking and to the fact that I made the choice when I started blogging to abandon all pretense that my home life is terrific and write truthfully. I'm upset because what I've done doesn't seem nearly as catastrophic as what my sister has done, and yet they're willing to toss me out on my ass because I don't have kids. They'll cover my sister's ass, rescue her from the shitstorm she's brought upon herself, and continue to pay for everything for her, simply because she has kids.
That's all I am going to write for today. I just can't really grasp all that's going on at this time because it's so ass-backwards. Bottom line though, is that I refuse to be censored. I'm getting fucked every way from Sunday here, and I'm going to express my opinions about it.