Saturday, April 2, 2011


That was close.  I almost fell asleep without writing.

So, today I showed apartments.  Then I was supposed to have an acupuncture appointment but I didn't feel like driving all the way to Wheatridge for it, so I called and told them I couldn't make it.  Then I took a nap.  It was glorious, especially because after I went to bed at like 8:30 last night, and then waking up at 11:30 and then not going back to sleep until 3am, a nap was just what I needed.

I had pizza with the fam and then went to the movies with Tiffany.  We saw Insidious.  Here's the part where I critique the movie: it was interesting, I suppose.  I liked a lot of the moments where scary things popped out and everything, and I felt that those parts were mostly well done, but then they started to rationalize and explained away the scary things, and that's what I didn't like.  When you're watching a scary movie, don't you want to be scared?  I am scared of the unknown, and the inexplicable.  This movie started out unusual and inexplicable, but then it got kind of silly.  I love the paranormal, I love ghosts and hauntings and demonic beings and whatnot, and this movie had a lot of that stuff, but I just didn't like where it went with all of it.  It didn't end with a happy resolution, it left it very open-ended and with room for a sequel.  All in all, I'd give it maybe 2 stars.  I really liked the classic horror movie qualities it had, like the title sequence and the scary orchestral music, and I found it really interesting that they used some kind of filter that drained much of the color out of the whole movie and that they used red as a symbol for hell and demons.  I just feel like it could have been taken in an entirely different direction to make it even scarier.  I really loved all the startling scenes, though.  A lot of scary movies have a few, but this movie was filled with them, and they were good ones too.

And so I have my date tomorrow morning!  I have been looking forward to it all week.  I'm really excited to meet the guy in person, and I love his sense of humor.  When I asked him if we should do the cliche blind-date thing where I show up wearing or bringing something really conspicuous, he said that he'd recognize me, but that I should bring a spatula just in case.  And that he'd be the one on a burro.  Just my kind of sarcasm and wit.  I'm thrilled!  What is even more interesting is that he's been really open and honest with me (as far as I can tell), and I asked him how many more dates he had lined up and he told me that he had a couple.  Normally, I'd be jealous, even though I have no claim on him, and no reason to be jealous whatsoever.  I felt not so much as an inkling of jealousy, and while I don't know why, I don't really want to question it too much because the freedom of not being jealous is really refreshing.  I'd like to think that it's just because I think that I have already connected with him a lot and that if he were to choose one of the three girls he's gone on a first date with to go out with again, it would be me, because of how well we get along.  I could be way off, I don't know, but I'd like to commend myself on my lack of jealousy.  Either I'm growing, or I just know that I have no reason to be jealous.

What's even more interesting, to me anyway, is that I'm not nervous, and I'm not putting all my hopes and dreams into all the tiny nuances of this first meet.  I didn't obsess over what I'm going to wear (I haven't even picked it out entirely yet!).  I remember how much thought Former Bestie put into the outfit she was going to wear when she first met Fiance (they met on eHarmony).  So maybe I don't care.  Maybe I'm already feeling assured enough that he already likes me that it doesn't really matter how I look.  It's really refreshing to think that way, too.

I'm trying not to project too far into the future, but I'm really hopeful and optimistic that I'm going to be seeing a lot of this guy.  I think he and I could probably get a lot out of spending time with each other because we are both sort of damaged and sensitive to the world and we both probably need as much reassurance from a significant other as we can get.

Something I learned from my experience with Aaron is that there are qualities in a person that you don't think about that may put you off of a person once you meet them, if you have only talked to them online.  There were things about Aaron that I found to be really strange and off-putting that I stayed open-minded about and they eventually became endearing.  The way Aaron held himself, the way he walked, and his body language were all very strange to me at first, and they were characteristics I noticed right away that I hadn't even begun to hypothesize about before we met.  So I'm kind of interested to see how this guy is in person.  Especially because I am aware of those things now and will be paying close attention to them.

Okay I really need to get to bed so I can lie there for at least an hour with my brain on overdrive and then can actually get some sleep.  I don't entirely know what to expect, but I'm very excited!

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