Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sweet Licorice Sandwiches I'm Fucking Tired

I cannot remember the last time I was so tired.  I can hardly walk now.  It was wonderful to be able to sleep in an extra hour and a half today, although I got ready as though I were going running, so Phoenix was disappointed when he realized he wasn't going with me.  I so wish I could have taken him.

School was...interesting.  I discovered how little my running has helped my lungs get into shape after riding my bike up The Hill once again.  It was hard.  My first class was Social Psychology, which is going to be a really cool class, I think.  I wish I could take more Sociology classes.  Those are the people that understand that taking a midterm and a final are not enough for a student to demonstrate their mastery of the material, so there are in-class and homework assignments along with the mid-term, final, and final project, which thankfully is not a group project.  We were forced, however, to exchange phone numbers with someone in the class, so I think I will be sitting next to my person on Thursday and try to make a new friend.

The first day is always "explain the syllabus and clarify any misconceptions about the class" day, so we got out early from SP.  I sat outside in the sun and people-watched while I waited for my next class, which was Judaism.  Apparently the course is Intro to "Judaism," because Judaism is not something that can be clearly defined or constrained, which I hadn't really thought about.  I'm kind of dreading this class, and already feel like an outsider because so many people in the class are taking it with friends or people they know (and it's like 90% female), and part of the class is having a partner with whom you do the daily in-class assignments, so I'll have to have one assigned to me, I think.  However, I know next to nothing about Judaism itself, so I'm looking forward to learning about it and I think it will supplement my Anthropology knowledge quite nicely.

After that, I headed straight to the campus rec-center.  It was nothing like I was expecting from the research I did on it online.  It's humongous, with both a large lap-pool and a regular pool, it's got a rock wall, and the locker room goes on and on and reminds me creepily of the dreams I've had of locker rooms (I've had a lot of those), but I was really confused because in the locker room is a weight room, obviously just for the ladies, and I was hoping for a greater variety of machines to use.  I also almost prefer free-weights and there weren't many of those.  I looked around (briefly because I didn't want to seem lost or out of place, even though I was), and couldn't find a mixed-gender area for weights.  I'll look a little harder on Thursday.  The area with the cardio machines consisted of 5 treadmills, and like 20 ellipticals, and it's in a little carved-out square area in the main floor of the rec center with absolutely no air circulation so you're breathing everyone else's hot air and sweat.  Pretty gross.  I've thought about finding a place to lock my backpack up and just running around campus, except that my legs hurt so bad from running today that I'm going to have to just use the ellipticals for awhile.  I also sweat my freaking ass off so I might as well have been outside in the heat.  I like treadmills because they're so controllable, but I would have just rather run outside today.

Anyway, I didn't use any of the weight machines while I was there because I was getting stares from people which I'm sure was nothing out of the ordinary, so I just went outside.  It turns out there ARE books that are required for the Judaism class, so I went to the bookstore on campus and got them.  It was an absolute ZOO there.  Like Black Friday at Walmart busy.

After I left there, I went and sat outside at the fountains and stuck my feet in the water to cool them off which felt amazing, and laughed at a guy who was wearing a sandwich-board and yelling things about the fires of hell and the Son of God, Jesus Christ.  The sandwich board had stuff on it about "Fornicators," and "Drunkards" and "Potheads" among other things, on the front, and on the back it said "Fear God," "Repent," and "Turn or Burn."  People actually gathered around him, but not to listen to what he was saying, to make fun of him and laugh at him, which I'll admit I did.  He wasn't there when I sat down, so when I noticed him, I definitely laughed.  If he thinks he's going to change the mind of a college student by doing that, then he's totally crazy.  I wonder how long he was there before campus security escorted him off campus.

By then I had to head towards my Anatomy lab, which I am no longer waitlisted for but enrolled in.  It was the usual, a group of Integrative Physiology majors, many of whom know one another, so they immediately cliqued up.  I sat next to a girl who didn't have the lab manual yet, so I shared mine with her and talked to her about how hard the lab is and probably freaked her out a bit with everything you have to know during the course of the lab.  And I feel like I probably know the material better than my graduate TA and undergrad TA, and I am definitely a better teacher/instructor.  Both of them sort of talked like they had no idea what the hell they were doing there.  So that will be fun, trying to learn from them.

We got out early today, and I'd gotten a call from my lady doc to come in and get my next shot, so I headed home as quickly as I could, which wasn't very fast because for whatever reason I was only able to get behind people driving 5 below the speed limit both on the way into and out of Boulder.  I got home, made myself a fancy sandwich, and then left again to get my shot.  It wasn't until then that I realized how physically exhausted I was.  Riding up the hill, then running on the treadmill, then riding around campus, then riding back down to Downtown all while wearing a progressively heavier and heavier backpack was a lot more work than I'd anticipated. After I got home from getting the shot, I had to lie down for awhile, and I slept for about 2 hours with ice on the tendons that hurt the most today.

And that brings me to now.  Other things that have been occupying my thoughts besides school today - Brian getting married, for some reason, and my grandfather.  I guess my grandfather went to the hospital yesterday complaining of pain and had to have surgery to repair a duodenal ulcer late last night.  He's 81 and over 350lbs and has prostate cancer that has spread to his lymph nodes, and so his health is not great.  Surgery on older folks is extremely risky, only for the reason that they may not make it out of it because the anesthesia has changed their brain electricity to the point that they're no longer able to breathe on their own and their bodily functions that the brain controls are basically turned off and just don't come back on.  He came out of the surgery okay, and he's off the ventilator today and seems to be doing pretty well, but the rest of his recovery is totally up in the air.  When our bodies get old, they just sort of wear out, and healing takes especially long for older people, so my mom and her brother are worried that the healing process isn't going to go as it would for a younger, healthier person.  So I may have to fly down to Florida for his funeral at the last minute sometime soon.

As for thinking about Brian, he just popped into my head this afternoon and has kind of stuck there.  I don't like it, so I'm trying NOT to think about him, but when you try not to think about something, you're still thinking about it, and so now I'm going to dream about him sometime soon.

If it's believable, I am actually kind of looking forward to work tomorrow.  A chance to not be moving around a whole lot, a chance to get my little bit of homework done, a chance to watch more Lost (which I'm totally hooked on and accidentally watched 3 episodes last night after I got into bed).  I've been consciously trying to not drink alcohol, but I caved and let myself have a glass of champagne tonight, but just the one.  After this it's either grape soda or water.  Probably water.

I can't really even explain how much my legs hurt.  Last night I did a bunch of the physical therapy exercises I've been given over the years, and I did them with a "theraband" which is a stretchy piece of rubber meant to be used for resistance exercises and to strengthen joints.  I think that may be why my lower legs hurt so much today.  I made a point of doing a lot of the exercises until my ankles were kind of fatigued last night, and the tendons that hurt are the ones that I worked on a bit.  They need to be seriously iced down for like 24 hours I think.  Which I'm totally fine with except the plastic bags I have all leak like crazy once the stupid ice-cubes melt and I'm so tired of spending money that I just want to go one stupid day without spending any at all.  Tomorrow might be that day, because today sure wasn't.

I need to get in the shower now, in order to be in bed by 8:30 which is the time I've tentatively set for myself to be in bed because I'm so goddamn tired.  I'd like to make it through tomorrow without wanting to fall asleep and I've been doing pretty good about not being totally out of it at work.  So that's it.  First day back at real college: Done.

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