Friday, June 3, 2011


I am so motherf-ing tired I can't really focus on anything except wanting to get into my bed and sleep for about 12 hours.  I didn't go to bed until about 1:30 last night and then woke up before 6am (okay, only 15 minutes before but that's still before).  I got ready early and had enough time to get a dozen donuts and a couple of carbonated beverages.  I only want to drink really cold, really carbonated beverages in the morning time.  I'm not a coffee or tea person.  Yuck.

Anyway, the day went by pretty uneventfully.  I got a stern talking-to via email at work that upset me a little, and almost got into it with a tenant, but otherwise work was okay.  I really like not having to be there for 9.5 hours, and after doing that 4 days a week for over a month, only being there for 6 goes by especially quickly.

I did speak up in class after all (I am one of those people who is incapable of keeping their mouth shut), and it turned out okay.  Then I left Boulder and went straight to my parents house, because they had already picked up Phoenix.  Played with the kids until dinner, then played with them for a little while after dinner while my parents ran some errands.  I gave them each a donut and would not let them get up from the table until they'd finished the whole thing (because there are two things we don't waste on this planet - donuts and alcohol) and they both finished.

I stuck around long enough to see them all out of the bath and by that time I was really starting to drag ass so I went home, and that's where I am at this point.  I've already taken my meds and washed my face and I am ready for bed.

One thing I want to mention while it's in my mind - they say that money can't buy happiness, but it sure as hell can buy peace of mind.  I have made it to the point where I have paid all my bills, (aside from the ones I haven't gotten from the doc yet), and I still have money left to buy groceries and maybe even have a little fun.  I feel exponentially better.  It's like having an elephant lifted off of my shoulders.  Gravity literally seems less forceful.  I even gave my mom $200.  That felt especially great.  I feel pretty relaxed, and the clouds began to part while I was driving home (literally - the clouds in the sky - not figuratively) and I looked out through the haze at the mountains and the farms and the ponds and really just appreciated how beautiful of a place this really is and how lucky I am to be here.

And now it's time for bed.  I cherish the inner tranquility I am feeling at this moment and I wish I could bottle it up and take a swig of it whenever the weight of the world is suffocating me.  But I'll settle for this, right now.

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