Friday, May 13, 2011

Thursday the 12th

**Blogger was down on Thursday the 12th so I was unable to post, but this is what I wrote for yesterday:

Today did not get off to a good start.  Considering my monetary situation, I'm really on edge.  I don't think it's as on edge as I have been, but my heart rate is really fast today.  It might be that I had a cup of coffee today.  I don't like how I feel, though.  Even better, I'm starting to crash right now.  I mean, without caffeine, I generally get sleepy right about this time, but I feel like it's much more noticeable today.  Who knows.

Anyway, I got some dog food from my mom yesterday.  Enough to get Phoenix through until Friday afternoon.  I fed him when we got home last night, and even remembered to put his food bowl up when I left for work this morning so Rainey wouldn't eat the rest of the food that was left in it.  But I didn't remember to move the bag of food that I had set on the bucket where I normally keep the food in before I left.  So I texted Meredi when I got to work this morning to ask her to move it if Rainey hadn't eaten it yet.  She texted me back to say it was too late.  I am so mad at myself for forgetting.  On top of that, I tried getting gas last night on our way home.  I have just under $5 in my bank account, and I know that when you swipe your card at the pump, it authorizes the transaction for anywhere over $1.  I thought I could cheat the system and put like $30 in and just deal with the overdraft fee.  But it looks like the gas station by my house that I frequent authorizes over $5 for the transaction beforehand.  So I'm nearly out of gas.  My mom offered me $10 last night when I left, which I turned down since it wasn't really enough to buy dry dog food (even though I could have bought a few cans of the wet stuff).  So she put it in my bank account so I could stop on the way home from work.

When I got the text from Meredi this morning, I was talking to the lady that owns the cleaning company my building uses.  She stops in and we chat a few mornings a week.  I used to dread having to talk to her, but I'm getting used to her and she is a pretty nice lady.  I told her what had happened and she said she would run by the all natural pet food store she has a contract with and grab me some samples.  Which she did.  I'm not thrilled with the idea of trying to feed Phoenix a whole new kind of food since he's got such a sensitive stomach and he generally gets diarrhea when we switch food (which isn't uncommon).  But I don't want to have to switch him back next week, even though I will anyway.  It's a bandaid for a deep laceration.  I'm hemorrhaging money and I've been trying to two weeks to figure out how to stop it. 

So, after that, I tried to register for classes, and still could not.  I left another message for the person I left a message for yesterday.  After waiting awhile for a return phone call, I decided to call again.  I talked to another different person, who told me that each Friday the system reloads the list of new enrolling students, and that last Friday, when they received my $200 payment, was graduation, so the list was not rolled over, and that I'd have to wait until this Friday to register.  So I stopped her, and I told her that I had been told two other things already since Monday of this week - that I could register on May 11th (which didn't work) and then that I hadn't been assigned a term in the computer system and that I needed to talk to this specific lady to get this changed.  I was put on hold, and after a few minutes, she got back on the line, whoever she was, and told me that they'd manually activated me for registration since it'd taken so long already and that I could go ahead and register.

So I did.  And right now, I've registered for the Sex, Gender and Society class I had planned on taking, as well as the upper division Criminology online class I'd planned on taking.  The class I'd planned on taking during July is full, so I'm waitlisted at #7.  I'm hoping that by July, 8 people will have dropped the class.  If not, I need to start looking for another class to get into.  And the zombie class I was going to take online is restricted to English and Journalism majors only, a stipulation which was not in the summer catalog, so I need to find another class to take in it's place, or plan on taking two classes in the fall.  I also tried to get an appointment with my adviser to see if it is in fact correct that I need to take only 15 or 16 more credits in order to graduate, but that didn't work, either!

And the cherry on the crap sundae that is my day today is that a few days ago, Anna, my favorite co-worker told me that my school and work schedule for June would work for her, but that July's was silly.  I'd had it planned out that I would work in the mornings in June, and then go to class in the afternoon, and then in July, she'd be here from open until 11:30am while I was in class and then I'd work the rest of the day after that.  She has told me in the past that she doesn't like having to open because she doesn't like being up that early more than twice a week.  Her argument now for not having to open 5 days a week is that it's silly for her to be here just for an hour or two (really it's 4) and she'd prefer to just sit at the desk for the 2 hours I'd be gone to class in the middle of each day.  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  She makes no sense.  I plan to talk to Barbara about it, and soon.  I went ahead and registered for the class that would make her have to open every day for a month (class is from 7:30-9:05), but that's the waitlisted one.  I really want to take it, though, because it's on TV & American culture.  It's an English class so I'm sure it will take a shit ton of writing, but I really want to take it.  I'd originally told Anna that I could switch it up and take the middle of the day class instead, but I was wrong.  I'd have to switch my June schedule as well in order to do that and I don't want to do that.  I looked through some other online classes and I haven't been able to find one that is only for the July term.  There are two kinds of online classes - the Continuing Education classes, which are through the Continuing Ed department of CU, and there are the Main Campus online courses.  The Continuing Ed classes mostly started on May 2nd, which was 10 days ago making it far too late for me to be getting into a class like that.  And if they start that early, they continue through July, which would make my class load for the month of June 3 classes and I don't think I can make that work.

I thought about it some, and it's going to be a lot easier for me to be at work at 7:30 (or 7:35 or 7:40am) each day for a month than it will be for me to be in class, especially because these classes that are only a month long take attendance as part of the grade.  So I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet.  Either way, I got registered for a few classes, and was able to get my summer application for financial aid going at the least.  Which was really all I needed to do. 

I'm definitely nervous about the workload of being in two classes that are only a month long because it will require about three times the work in that short amount of time to make up for not being a three or four month long class.  I'm hoping that not being in school for so long will give me enough motivation to work my ass off for two full months.  But I was really nervous about making it to work on time three days a week back in November and I have flourished at being reliable and dependable on that front.  So perhaps I will be in for a big surprise come August.

I hate days when I feel like this.  I feel like being so negative and so complain-y makes me sound perpetually negative.  I feel like I have more negative days than positive ones.  I feel like my negativity outweighs my positivity and I don't like that at all.  I want to be more positive and hopeful and less negative and judgmental.  I wish I were more accepting and less annoyed by the rest of the people on this planet.  For example, today I went down to heat up my lunch and the lady who runs the publishing company in our basement was in the kitchen.  She monopolizes the kitchen for about 15 minutes each day preparing herself a salad.  She literally brings in the vegetables and chops them all up here at the office instead of doing it at home and bringing it here all prepared.  The kitchen in this building is not large enough for two people at a time, and so trying to heat up my lunch while she's down there is terribly awkward.  On top of that, she uses fish in her salads every single day.  And it stinks.  It smells up the entire kitchen.  Today she used fish and olives.  And the combination of the smells was enough to make me want to vomit.  It doesn't help that when I had the stomach bug a couple of weeks ago, I threw up tuna and so now I'm extra averse to anything remotely fishy-smelling.

I read a short article Monday or Tuesday on about what it is that makes us annoyed.  It shed a little light on the actual science behind why certain things - or people - annoy some people more than others.  It even says, "And people with depression are more prone to becoming more irritable."  So maybe that explains my negativity.  It's just because of the kind of mental illness I have.  Just a symptom of the fact that I'm sick. 

My mom told me on Tuesday night that there was a new drug that is being promoted for the treatment of bipolar disorder, but it also treats other mood disorders.  She said that a rep came in and presented the drug to her at work, and it intrigued her.  So she suggested that I do some research into it, and consider talking to my doctor to add it to my list of daily medications.  I'm actually more interested in the possibility of Pristiq.  I'm on effexor right now, and it's generic name is venlafaxine.  Pristiq is desvenlafaxine, which would be a slightly different chemical compound of venlafaxine.  I just don't know how.

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