Saturday, February 26, 2011

Glorious, Wonderful Saturday (and cable)


Today was a surprise, all around.  Phoenix woke me up at 8:30, which was a surprise.  I wanted to sleep in until at least 10.  I got up, made mimosas and then made biscuits and gravy for the first time in my life.  They turned out okay I guess.  It would have been better with homemade biscuits, and the gravy needed salt, but altogether not horrible.  But while I was cooking, my phone notified me of a friend request on facebook that I was not expecting, from Former Bestie.  I had taken her off my friends in my rage back in November, and I hadn't heard anything from her since I sent her the long and emotionally taxing email on Tuesday.  Of course I accepted the friend request immediately, and an email from her followed shortly thereafter.  I won't go into all the details right now (I may later, it depends on how much of it I really want to share with God and everyone), but I think we will be okay.  I know it is going to be a difficult journey of self-discovery for me but I am looking at it as a challenge and not dreading it.

Meredi and I took the dogs to the dog park after I'd cleaned up breakfast and just before the Comcast guy was supposed to get here.  That was fun!  I have always wanted someone to go to the dog park with, and I occasionally have someone to go with, but it was even better because Phoenix and Nali already know each other and are friends.

After the dog park, I decided to get going on cooking some dog food for Phoenix - ground beef, rice, potatoes, carrots, corn, peas and green beans - while I waited for the Comcast guy to get here.  He finally got here around 2:30 and went through all the same steps as the other techs, but towards the end, while he was showing me where all the wiring is in case my dad needed to replace it, he decided to take out a second splitter that was sort of unnecessary, and it seems that doing that fixed the problem.  The guy was great, he was really nice and he included me by explaining to me everything that he was doing so that if my dad needed to come over to replace the wire, I could explain to him where everything was.  And my cable is still working!!  I am very hopeful that it will stay on, at least through tomorrow night so that I can watch the Oscars.

I have just spend the last hour and a half watching He's Just Not That Into You.  I bought the book, but never read it, after I discovered how negative it is.  The movie is really cute, and I enjoyed it when I saw it in the theater, and I still enjoy it.  I feel like it's a bit over the top in it's portrayals of the characters, but at the same time, it's quite accurate.  Especially after I've been feeling so desperate for love of late, I felt that the movie was the perfect thing for me to watch to get a feel for how awful marriage can be, while still maintaining the hopefulness that keeps me going most days.  I think I should change my attitude about singlehood, or my singlehood in particular.  It's really stigmatized, and I think I focus on that more than anything.  In the movie, it's portrayed sort of pathetically, but it's also sort of inspiring how the character Gigi (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) refuses to stop being hopeful and positive about finding someone.  I'm feeling like the inspiration might be fleeting, but I am hoping that I can maintain it for a long enough period of time for me to own it and make it my own instead of just using the energy from the movie to move me.

When Meredi and I got home from the dog park today, we noticed that there were people moving into the house next door that has had a for sale sign up.  Meredi took the lead and we went over and introduced ourselves!  I am starting to being feeling at home here, like I'm finally getting settled in and actually LIVING here.  I want to have a party sometime in the next few weeks and invite everyone I know.  I really like meeting new people, because it makes me feel like I'm actually a part of this world, and I always think of it in terms of the possibility that I'm meeting people who might somehow change my life.  I like my hope.

I'm still worried about Phoenix.  He seems to be doing okay, although he's still got runny poo.  There's no blood in it which makes me feel a little better, but he started doing the stretching thing he does that the vet told me is an indicator that he's hurting a bit.  And his tummy has been a little gurgly tonight.  I have a feeling that he's going to get me up in the middle of the night to go outside.  If he's still not feeling well, after several days of antibiotics and probiotics and pumpkin and everything, I'm going to be extremely worried that whatever is wrong is more serious than can be fixed with the changes we've been implementing.  I'm definitely projecting into the future here, and that is what gets me into trouble, but I am visualizing him being very, very sick, and me not being able to afford the tests and/or procedures that are necessary to solve whatever is wrong, and him dying while I have to watch helplessly.  I'm scared.

I can't even begin to describe how thrilled I am that my cable is still working, and at the same time I'm trying to not cherish it too much in case it goes out again and is irreparable except by means of rewiring.  But I love having it available.  Movies and TV, right at my fingertips.  Because Comcast has had to come out so many times, I've requested that instead of a $20 credit to my bill, they give me three free months of Showtime, which should (hopefully) give me enough time to get caught up on Dexter and Weeds.  I got really excited for a second earlier when I saw that Showtime On Demand has the entire season of Dexter available, except it's telling me that I don't have Showtime (yet) (which may require a phone call tomorrow because I have every intention of getting caught up on Dexter starting tomorrow).  But for now, I'm going to get in the shower and get into bed.

P.S. - I found out today that I am the first of my grandmother's 9 grandchildren not to get married in order of birth, with the exception being my autistic cousin.  Awesome.

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