Thursday, July 7, 2011

Sleeping Cooooool

Well I remembered I needed to post just as I was falling asleep.  And then I fell asleep.  But luckily I am awake now!

Didn't do anything special during the day yesterday.  I woke up around 11 and thought really hard about going back to sleep before the US women's game, but put in some laundry and did some cleaning instead.  I'm glad I did that because it really needed to get done.  I watched the first half of the game and then during half time did some more laundry and get ready for this: I even put the first load of laundry away right out of the dryer!  THAT NEVER HAPPENS!  So I felt good about that, too.

After the game was over, I did some more cleaning up and then napped for about an hour and a half.  I got up then and went over to my parents house.  I could not keep it straight that yesterday was Wednesday and not Tuesday, so when I got there and my mom was home I was real confused.  But she gets off at 12:30 on Wednesdays.  And the kids were already there, which further confused me, but I guess my sister went and got them a little early because there's a whole bunch of family at their dad's house now.

Speaking of the bitch, she acted as though NOTHING had happened last Friday.  Of course, this was the first time I saw her since then.  I don't freaking get her.  And I hate, more than anything, that she's able to pretend nothing happened.  It just makes it worse.  She was all excited because she finally got her redneck nasty-ass cavity on her FRONT TOOTH fixed.  Why has it taken so long for her to do this, you ask?  Oh, that's because the last few dentists she's seen she hasn't paid.  And then has been taken to collections and sometimes even sued for the amount she owes.  It's as though she's a cave-person who has accidentally traveled through time and ended up here and not comprehended that we pay people for the services they perform for us.

Although I'm not really one to talk.  I still haven't paid the IRS for the taxes I owe from working for Holly.  I really need to get on that...

I'm starting to do my money worrying again.  After spending so much on Tuesday, I'm really worried that I'm not going to now be able to pay for essentials.  Hopefully I can get that worked out in the next few days so it's not constantly in the back of my mind.

I definitely feel....weird...right now.  I felt pretty great most of the day, but having awoke in the middle of the night (Phoenix has been up alllllll night.  I think he's been playing outside with Nali because his feet smell like grass)(I know what his feet smell like because they were thrust in my face, I didn't smell them on purpose), I did the usual and checked facebook.  I love that facebook allows me to connect with so many different people without actually having to CONNECT with them, but it has a pretty tight grasp on a lot of my consciousness.  I know that I'm not the only person that checks it more than once a day, or spends most of the day logged in while I'm at work, but it definitely works my brain and takes an emotional toll.  It's wonderful to see so many people that I've shared part of my life with doing well and enjoying their lives, and getting and doing what they want.  But man, jealousy stems from so much of that.  There's a girl I went to kindergarten with and have stayed friends with all my life.  She got married at the exact same time I was watching my sister scream at her son and threaten to break his little finger.  Pictures have been posted on facebook of some of the wedding, and they're real cute.  This girl has a sister who is a year younger than she and I, who is also married.  Both girls seem really happy and as though they haven't got the same worries and problems that I have.  I'm also friends with their dad on facebook - a guy who I was close to when I was really close with his daughter - and he posted that he and his wife, along with the younger daughter and her husband, are vacationing in Maui right now.  He just paid for his other daughter's wedding (I assume)!  It makes me feel incredible amounts of pity for my parents that they can't enjoy this time in their lives.  They're too busy being stuck with my asshole sister and taking care of her wonderful kids and paying all her bills to be able to enjoy the ridiculous amount of money that my dad makes.  They should be able to take one really nice vacation a year, just the two of them, AT LEAST, but they are having trouble making ends meet and that is so unfair.  They're decent people.  They've made a few mistakes, here and there, but everyone makes mistakes.  It just seems like their mistakes have caught up with them and consistently manage to make their lives miserable.  I'm glad my mom doesn't use facebook.  All she'd see is people who she's crossed paths with during her life (thanks to her kids) that are out there and enjoying life and seeing the world and being generally happy.  I so wish I could do something to alleviate the pressure my parents are under, but short of murdering my sister, there really is no way to do that.  They're stuck with her because they've vowed to support her because supporting her means supporting her kids, which is their ultimate goal.  I just hate watching it.  It's not fair.

On a lighter note, I bought a window fan for my room that's on the fancier side (a "programmable" thermostat to automatically turn it off or on once it hits a certain temperature!), and I'm quite comfortable right now, when I might normally be rather warm.  I think I'll keep it.  It adds a certain something to the atmosphere of my room.  Between that and the ceiling fan, it's totally cool in here while it is pretty hot and stuffy in the rest of the house.  I took the boys with me to go get it.  I like taking them places because I sometimes worry that they don't get to do enough fun stuff.  I know this isn't true, but it's kind of my participation in their lives.  Plus being in the car with them is hysterical.  They talk about the weirdest stuff!

This time of night has it's positives and negatives, but as long as I don't have work or school the next day I have no problem being up in the middle of the night.  I almost enjoy it.  Except that without fail, Phoenix takes advantage of my absence on the bed and lies right in my spot.  And the TV is crap, even on HBO and Showtime, which I am still paying for.  Just two more expenses I shouldn't have but do for the simple luxury of them.

I should probably get back into bed now.  But I'm hungry so I may go get some ice cream first.  Blerg.

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