Thursday, March 17, 2011

A Disturbance

I'm perturbed right now.  Everything was just fine until I stopped getting text messages.  Earlier, I texted Tim to see if he wanted to meet up for beers at Conor O'Neil's, and never got a response.   Then I got on facebook a minute ago to see that he's there right now, with his brother, who I know.  So either he didn't get my text (unlikely) or he ignored me.  I hate being ignored.

On top of that, I've just stopped hearing from the newest guy I'd been talking to from the free dating site.  Again, I feel ignored.

When you're someone who has a lot of trouble caring for themselves and who has low self-esteem as it is, having people ignore you just makes you feel that much worse.  I feel like I don't matter!  I shouldn't ever have to feel that way, right?  I should feel loved and cared for, and I don't!  It doesn't matter that the people I want to hear from aren't people I'm close to, because of the manner of the mental illnesses I have, it's still very painful to think that no one cares or respects you enough to respond when you speak to them.  What the hell.

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