Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Moody Blues

So, I'm in charge of watching Nali while Meredi is in Vegas, where she just up and decided to go yesterday.  I'm not complaining, I love Nali, and so does Phoenix.  I thought for sure that she'd be just fine with us because there have been two nights where she's slept in my room with us even when Meredi is home.  But, not so much.  She got up to get a drink about 50 times, and she would go from on my bed, to on the floor, to under my bed.  She wouldn't be still for more than a couple hours at a time.  So, I didn't sleep great.  It's okay though, because I was "off" today.  I had to get up for an appointment with the occupational health doc for my last follow-up, but that was it today.  I was able to finagle a referral to a chiropractor out of them.  I'm supposed to see the chiropractor tomorrow.  I got back home and cleaned a bit and took a short nap.

Man, I was really miserable last night.  I got home and got into bed with the pups and watched an episode of Shameless, and then talked on the phone for a little while with a new guy.  He seems to be really nice, and we made plans to get together after work tomorrow, except I made the chiropractor appointment and that is going to throw a wrench into that whole thing.  I'll call him in a little while to ask him if we can reschedule.  Talking to him cheered me up, because I had to force myself to act like I was in a good mood even though I really wasn't.  I'm glad I talked to him, though, because it diverted my thoughts long enough to change my mood.

I was in a good mood most of today, though, because the only people I had to interact with were, in fact, dogs.  I got some laundry done and I cooked myself a humongous veggie-tofu sweet-and-sour stir fry, which was good if I'd had any appetite.  While I was standing in the kitchen cleaning and cutting the vegetables, twice I almost passed out just standing there.  Once I sat down on the stairs but I guess I didn't give myself enough time because I almost passed out again and luckily made it upstairs to my bedroom without passing out.  It was a little scary, though, because I've never actually fainted, but I have been close and I don't like how helpless I feel when I get all hot and dizzy and starry-eyed.  I also didn't want to wake up lying on the filthy kitchen floor.  It may have been because I didn't eat before dinner today, but I did have a grape soda (yum, that's my most recent addiction) so I doubt it was low blood sugar.

And that pretty much brings me here.  I am still feeling pretty decent, and I have managed to mostly keep my mind occupied today.  I have, however, been thinking about my "dating" situation, which is actually pretty much non-existent.  Being on the free dating site has helped me talk to bajillions of guys, but I can't seem to keep any one guy's interests, except the guy I'm supposed to meet tomorrow.  There's one guy I was talking to who is absolutely adorable, and he even said we should go on a breakfast date, but that's the last I heard from him.  I know I shouldn't allow my feelings to get hurt since I don't actually know any of the guys, but I'd like to think that I'm an interesting and smart and funny person, although perhaps I am wrong.

I wish I were able to just forget about things, let them go, but I can't.  When I called my boss to find out if she wanted me to come in for just one showing, I realized that I stupidly didn't call the tenant whose apartment being shown to let her know someone would be coming, and I heard the frustration and disappointment in my boss's voice when I told her I hadn't done that.  I hate to think that I've become "unreliable" in her eyes, and I plan to speak to her tomorrow about my stupidity.  It definitely momentarily altered my mood.  I tried to tell myself that it's ultimately not my problem and that since I wasn't working it would effect me in no way at all, but because I'm a perfectionist, that didn't work.

I need to get into bed now.  I'm being optimistic that I can maintain a decent mood through tomorrow.

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