Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Whole Lot of Nothing

I really don't feel like writing tonight, so this is going to be a short one.  I had fun with Tiffany last night, she is a really good person to be around when I'm feeling blue because she's goofy and funny and also really caring and compassionate.  I'm so glad to have her back in my life, and I don't know what I'd do without her.

We started at the Rio, where I had two margaritas and a beer, then went over to the Walrus for a shot, and then went to Hapa where I had sushi, and ordered sake for us (she hated it) and we had some dessert there, too.

I woke up hungover, with a decent headache, so I took some aspirin and drank a bunch of water and went back to bed.  I slept over and stayed at my parents house all day today, just hanging out with the kiddos and lazing around.  It was really nice not to have anything to do for a change, although I could have used some busy time to keep myself out of my head.

I'm still blue.  Still feeling badly about myself and still upset over the news of Brian.  I really want to just give up, on myself and on my hopes of ever finding love.  It's really exhausting and even more disappointing, and I don't handle disappointment well.  Tonight I plan to watch TV and just zone out to the best of my ability.  I am going to sleep really well without there being any kids here running around and making noise.

I need a vacation, but one that I don't have to pay for.  I'm getting really worried that I won't be able to afford to go to San Diego in April.  Shit.

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